


My Lonely Days Are Gone

by daisiesforlacey



Series: look how far we've come [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Has A Sibling (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Has Anxiety (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Angst, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reggie Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), also i just love alex and willie, but its fine, ngl i projected a lot in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27426280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisiesforlacey/pseuds/daisiesforlacey
Summary: Alex has always helped people, until one day, they help him.OR: His life as told through 'The Way You Make Me Feel' by Michael Jackson--Part 2 of an anthology of the boys' life, and a look at how far they have come. All culminating in a karaoke night.(Can be read as a stand alone or in any order!)
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: look how far we've come [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998304
Comments: 9
Kudos: 171





	My Lonely Days Are Gone

**1986**

_Hey pretty baby with high heels on,  
You give me fever like I’ve never ever known_

Alex was in second grade when he moved from Oklahoma to LA.

His father had just gotten a job offer at a law firm and shipped his nuclear family from the middle of nowhere to the epicenter of everywhere. They had packed up all of their belongings into stiff cardboard boxes and loaded into the Station Wagon. 

The first thing he noticed was that the house was a lot smaller than what he was used to. He didn’t know what it was called then, but he distinctly remembers not liking the blue paint. His sister, on the other hand, loved it.

It was like they were in a movie, standing with his father's hands on his shoulders next to his wife, the two children holding hands as they gazed up at the building. 

“Dear, I think it’s absolutely perfect. A perfect house for a perfect wife and a perfect family.” His father smiled at them.

“It’s quaint, comfortable.” His mother had said, standing in her signature kitten heels and shirtwaist dress.. “It’ll be perfect for what we need.” And she was right, as always.

The kitchen was just big enough for his mother to move around in comfortably, as she was the only one who would be in there. The dining room could comfortably fit the small round table, and their respective rooms could comfortably fit their beds and desks. The sunken living room was decked in comfortable furniture and his great grandparents grandfather clock. And Alex figured that his father's chair was extra comfortable, because after work, the man couldn’t be moved from it.

They had settled back into their ways of living soon after moving; his father would go to and from work with a kiss on everyone's cheek, his mother would make all of the meals and do all of the laundry, Alex and his sister would go to school and come back to do their homework before dinner, like the trustworthy children they were. 

And they would all go to Sunday Mass.

Alex would later recall that that had been a place of tranquility and peace for him, although it would take him some time. But truly, Alex was most comfortable sitting in the pews and singing psalms and bowing his head in prayer. He even enjoyed their youth group trips to the beach, where sand would be flung up by running children.

He loved everything about their church, from the people, to the Christmas potlucks, to bible study. He loved that his family would do everything together, especially with such separated lives under one roof. His mother would organize yearly sledding trips for the church, or his father would start up a project to help build a wheelchair ramp for one of the members. And they would always do it together.

He especially loved the bible stories. He loved all of the tales of Jesus and God and the miracles and lessons that would come from them. They inspired him to always be kind and thoughtful and generous and to put others before himself. 

These stories taught him to love unconditionally, and to treat every person he met as something as precious as gold. Whenever he would go about his day, he would always try to do something good for someone else; be it putting a stray quarted in a gumball machine, or helping another with groceries, or donating his old jackets to shelters. 

Really, Alex just wanted to help people.

* * *

**1989**

_You’re just a product of loveliness  
I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress_

The first thing Alex noticed about the other boys was his eyes. They were beautiful, unbelievably indescribable. They were the grey of heather and snow clouds; he could almost see a snowflake glimmer. He had never seen anything so all encompassing grey yet stunning. Alex would liken them to liquid mercury when he got particularly into science in high school, but in the fifth grade, he didn’t quite have the words yet.

The next thing he noticed was that the boy was yelling at him, “Are you alright?”

Alex then realized that his back pressed to the dewy grass of the baseball field. The frozen ground pushed up against his uniform. His chest was heaving, not helped by the eyes above him. The wind had been knocked out of him and he felt as though someone had stacked rocks on his chest, no matter how hard he tried to take in air. 

His vision started to grow with black spots and he could feel pins and needles creep up his arms to his elbows and reach toward his neck with creeping hands. Alex knew that he was panicking and that he should calm down, but he couldn’t even remember what was happening to him.

“Patterson, catch.” He heard his coach yell, then the thump of something meeting a mitt. 

His red emergency inhaler was thrust in front of his face with alarming abruptness. The boy above him stuttered, moving the inhaler to his mouth then maybe back down to Alex’s hands gripping the ground, then deciding that that probably wasn’t the best idea. 

He finally settled on shoving the inhaler unceremoniously between his lips, pumping the canister, and letting him take in the medication. 

Alex coughed and sputtered, taking a few moments to inhale like he had never known what air was. He then turned over to his side, the boy moving out of the way. He saw his shaggy mousy hair and furrowed brow, along with his eyes. Alex knew he liked his eyes.

“You totally wiped out, I don’t even know how. You were running to catch the ball all the way from right field! Why did you do that?” The boy flipped his hair back, “Bro, you just, like, collapsed and you were super lucky your coach had the puffy-pressy thing because your face was going blue. Violet Beaureguarde blueberry, blue. Ocean blue, well no, not ocean blue, wrong blue. Bug Juice blue? Maybe Capri sun blue. Can you tell that I need to drink something--”

The boy’s ranting was cut short as he was shoved out of the way by his father, who hunched over him, looking as if he had seen a ghost. “Alex! Alex! Are you okay, can you hear me?”

That night, Luke ate dinner with Alex and his family, having to pull a chair into the small dining room. 

He sat elbow to elbow with Alex.

* * *

**2020**

_I feel your fever from miles around  
I’ll pick you up in my car and we’ll paint the town  
Just kiss me baby and tell me twice  
That you’re the one for me_

Some of Alex’s favorite times with Willie is when they would go to the beach. They could stroll and not worry about being seen, or just sit and watch the waves roll in and out while Julie was at school. This was one of those times.

The sun was the brightest it would be in the day, and gulls were flying overhead. They had taken off their shoes and left them near Willie’s skateboard near the dock, and Alex could feel the hot sand beneath his feet. There weren’t too many people out today, seeing as it was a Tuesday, making it perfect for the two. They walked for a little longer before settling on a place to sit down and look at the horizon, not a cloud in sight.

Alex and Willie talked about their days, from the little things like a cute dog they saw, to big plans for upcoming shows, all the while Alex braided and unbraided Willie’s soft hair. He doesn’t remember quite when he learned to do it, but he does know his sister had taught him, after insisting that it was an important life skill. Turns out, it was.

The conversation shifted from very serious topics to lighter subjects almost as quickly as the waves came in; nothing seemed too personal or off limits. Willie was the easiest person to talk to, even more so than Julie, which was quite impressive. He just knew when to offer advice, and when to not, he knew when the mood needed to be lightened, or when to change the subject.

And even though it sounded like a line out of one of Luke’s rejected songs, Alex swore time was irrelevant when he was with him.

“You never talk about your childhood.” Willie stated. It wasn’t prying or accusatory, simply a statement. If Alex wanted to shut it down, he could, and if he wanted to talk more, well.

“I don’t. There’s nothing really to talk about.” Alex shrugged, crossing pieces of hair over the others. Willie said nothing, he knew that Alex would elaborate, now that he started talking

“We moved from Oklahoma to here when I was in second grade. I met Luke, then Reggie and Bobby, and the rest is history. We played the Orpheum, died, came back, almost got wiped out of existence, survived.”

“I’m still sorry about that.” Willie turned over his shoulder to glance at him with big puppy dog eyes.

Alex rolled his eyes fondly before turning his head back to face forward, “Like I’ve said, it’s completely fine. And stop moving, you’ll botch this up.”

“But what about your parents?” Willie looked down when Alex moved his head.

He shrugged, “Pretty ideal. My mom was a housewife, my dad was a lawyer. They had two perfect children, who coincidentally both sucked at baseball.”

Willie’s shoulders jostled, “I’m sure you were both great, you’re great at everything.”

“No, I really mean we were terrible.” Blush colored Alex’s cheeks. He braided a little longer, before deciding to do something completely different, and started unthreading it. “My parents loved me a lot. They spoiled us rotten; we could always get whatever we wanted and do whatever we wanted, so long as we went to church like clockwork. My mom got me brand new cleats and shin guards and socks all because I wanted to do soccer. She wasn’t even mad when I hated it and dropped it on my first day. She’s the one who fueled my drumming obsession.”

Alex started a new French braid at the top of Willie’s temple, tilting his head up and kissing his forehead. “At least the drumming thing worked out.” His boyfriend whispered.

The blond nodded, “At least. I mean, I got pretty lucky, Reg’s parents were top tier assholes. Like really.” His voice got quieter, “You’re coming out went pretty well, right?”

Willie hummed.

“Mine was like the opposite of that. I know I’m hopping around a lot, but bear with me.” Alex took a couple deep breaths, something Willie had taught him to calm his nerves.

“I loved church. I loved being part of this big family that unconditionally loved you. It was amazing, we went on retreats and water parks and did so many Christmas services every year. My favorite part was the bible stories. They taught love and acceptance and miracles. I think that’s why I was such a good kid, I just wanted to help people like those in the stories did, I wanted to make sure people didn’t feel so alone. Luke always joked that that’s why I attracted our band of misfits.”

Alex tilted the brunet’s head down, “I think that’s why it hurt so much when I came out, y'know? Like all my life I learned that humanity is inherently kind and we should always treat others the way we want to be treated, what Jesus taught his disciples. And when I came out, every person I know went against that teaching. My mother and father barely acted like I existed, my sister only spoke to me when she heard me crying, and the church exiled me altogether. The whole support system I had crumbled. Except for Sunset Curve.”

Alex sighed as he moved to do the next braid, “I’m sorry, that’s a lot to dump on a person.”

But Willie shook his head, messing up Alex’s holding, “That’s what I’m here for, to listen. Also, I asked.”

Alex nodded and continued, his voice cracking, “It was just a lot as a 16 year old kid to deal with. And I knew my parents thought being gay was a sin and that proclaiming such would send me to hell, but I had always hoped that when I came out, that I would have been the exception, because I was their son. And I know they cared about me, I just can’t bring myself to forgive them for treating me like that.” Alex waited for a response, waiting for Willie to tell him that of course they still loved him, and probably accepted him before he died, only for Alex to roll his eyes, but he heard nothing. 

Instead Willie turned around and cupped his face with both of his hands. “I’m really sorry. Your parents were awful, no one should ever be treated the way they treated you. But you don’t have to forgive them, some people don’t deserve to be forgiven. Your parents were probably hateful people who couldn’t get over their prejudice to love their son. And that is incredibly not okay. They shouldn’t use a religion to justify their hate for people.”

Alex smashed into him, hugging Willie close to him with all of his might, tears soaking his shoulder. “I love you, you know that?”

“Of course.”

* * *

**1993**

_The way you make me feel,  
You really turn me on_

Sarah asked him out at lunch. 

The band was sitting at their table, discussing how they would go about booking new gigs. They had only just come up with a band name after a slew of suggestions, mostly from Reggie, ranging from Big Wonzie to Midnight Madness. They finally settled on Sunset Curve after much debate. 

Luke had been writing non stop; lyrics and melodies and chords flowing like never before. They had been wracking up songs left and right and were wanting to play somewhere that wasn’t Alex’s mom’s book club. Desperately.

“There’s the café on 5th that does open mic nights,” Bobby suggested.

“Yeah, and Tony’s is always looking for bands to play.” Reggie nodded.

Luke wrote the two places down in his notebook, “We can go there after school to see about it. We could try to play prom, but hopefully we won’t need school dances in the spring.”

Alex scoffed, “Hopefully by next spring we’ll be playing the Orpheum.”

“That’d be rad, can you imagine? A whole crowd singing our songs? Insane.” Bobby looked off at the wall, clearly in his own head. 

That was when Sarah came up to them. 

Her brown hair had been clipped up in an array of plastic butterfly clips, she was decked out in a plaid skirt and a pink tank top. Alex supposed that she was pretty, but Luke’s eyes widened, girls like her didn’t talk to guys like them. Alex noticed as she walked over that the table of girls she came from were chattering excitedly, sending fleeting looks between the two of them. She came to stand directly in front of him.

Sarah pursed her lips, “Hi, I think you’re hella cool. Do you want to go to homecoming with me? You wouldn’t have to pick me up or anything, we could just meet at the dance and match colors or whatever.”

Alex’s throat went dry. He looked at Luke and Reggie, searching for answers, but they just sat there with their mouths gaping like fish, a look of disbelief across their faces. He was sure he looked the same, but for rather different reasons. He didn’t know what to say, “I, uh, um, I mean-”

Sarah held up her hands up in the universal sign of surrender, “If you don’t, that’s totally cool. I just thought I’d take my shot.”

Bobby gave him an exasperated look before turning to Sarah with a polite smile on his face, “What he meant to say was, ‘Yes, he’d love to go with you, right?’” He turned to Alex.

No, he didn’t want to go with her. But he couldn’t say that, not with her looking all hopeful, and the entire cafeteria now staring at them, he couldn’t do that to her, and he really couldn’t do that after Bobby had practically answered for him.

So he nodded his head. 

Homecoming came faster than he had hoped. 

The night was temperate and bright as he entered the auditorium. There were streamers hanging from the banisters, music booming from speakers, and a balloon arch as he walked in. He scanned the room for the boys, finding them hunched over the punch bowl. He quickly rushed over, his head turned down, the floor suddenly very interesting. He hoped that he could talk to them before Sarah spotted him, but he had no such luck as he felt a hand on his arm.

Alex looked up to see Sarah sheepishly smiling in a spaghetti strap silk dress, her hair in an updo with blue butterfly clips, “You clean up nicely.”

After he told his mother, she had been over the moon, insisting that he dress to the nines, in a blue button down, sport coat, and slacks, his hair slicked back. She fluttered about him, chattering about how nice it was that he was finally talking to a girl, having gotten her a corsage to match his pinned flowers on his chest. Like Sarah had said, they promised to meet at the dance, thankfully avoiding his mother's cooing and most likely a photo op. His father had sat in his chair. All the while, his father had sat in his chair. 

He cleared his throat, shoving the corsage forward stiffly, “So do you.” That wasn’t a lie, she did look good. He pressed his lips into a smile and he looked over to see Luke and Bobby smirking at them, Reggie too interested in the food on the table. He tried tilting his head to motion them over to him, but Luke waved him off playfully before going back to talk to the rest of the band.

That left Alex stranded. With a girl.

Luckily, she was a lot less uncomfortable than he was. She grabbed his hand with a laugh and dragged him to the center of the dance floor, “C’mon, loosen up. You seem really uptight.”

Alex wished it was that easy.

But they danced for who knows how long to the loud rap music that enveloped the room, not something he was particularly fond of, but at least he could listen to the lyrics and not pay attention to what was going on around him. The floor became more crowded, pushing Sarah closer and closer to Alex and he could feel her heavy breathing against him. He looked around to see Luke dancing with some girl from his English class and Reggie huddled in a corner with people he couldn’t name. Bobby was nowhere to be seen.

Alex could feel his heartbeat race for all of the wrong reasons as a slow song came on. Sarah looked up at him with a hopeful smile, “Wanna dance? Or are you good.” Alex really didn’t want to, he wanted to go home, or to Bobby’s garage, and never show his face again. But Sarah looked so hopeful and sunshine-y, and he would be such a dick if he ruined her night. 

So he nodded his head and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They swayed to the three-four waltz of the song, Sarah leaning her head into the crook of his neck. He looked everywhere but her. He was sure that something happened; maybe he stepped on her foot, or he didn’t move at all, or his heart was beating too fast, because she completely withdrew from him, her brow furrowed.

“You’re not having fun, are you?”

Alex looked down at his hands, “No, not really.”

She nodded, pursing her lips, “Okay. Do you want to go somewhere else?”

He let out a humorless laugh, “A little bit. Only if you want to, though.”

Sarah smirked, her eyes holding a glint in them. Alex hadn’t noticed until then that her eyes were a dull, lackluster green. She mirrored her earlier actions by grabbing his hands and dragging him out of the auditorium. They passed through the balloon arch and into the main hallway of the school. Posters lined the building, old ones advertising the dance, and new anti smoking ones. Alex tried to read them all he went, distracting himself from her iron hold.

He didn’t realize that they had passed the entrance and into the main part of the school until he saw the lockers. Sarah giggled nervously and dragged him into an empty classroom.

Alex’s heart sank. This is definitely not what he meant when he said he wanted to leave. 

She pressed up against his chest, pinning him to the nearest wall. She toyed with the collar of his shirt, “I always thought you were really handsome. Maybe it’s the hair, or your smile. Something about you. You just really turn me on.”

Alex opened his mouth to protest, but she was already dragging him by the lapels of his jacket to meet her lips. He froze, completely overwhelmed. Alex hated it. He didn’t know if he hated anything more than he hated that kiss in that moment. It was like every cell in his body was screaming for her to stop, as if the very notion of him kissing her was _just not Alex._ He felt as though he was looking down at someone else, someone who wasn’t himself in his own body, someone who wanted to kiss Sarah. It was wholeheartedly wrong; her lips on his, feeling so out of place. 

He didn’t know what to feel, except that he never wanted a girl to kiss him again.

He shoved her away by her shoulders, “No, I-, no, I don’t want to do that.”

A flurry of emotions startled across her face; surprise, anger, disbelief, before settling on disappointment. “You don’t? But you said you wanted to.” Her tone wasn’t accusing, but it was very curious.

He shook his head violently, his slicked back hair falling loose, “I never said that. I said I wanted to get away from the dance.”

She creeped back up to him, her hands knitted together, “But we did get away-”

“Sarah, you’re not listening to me. I wanted to go home. I wasn’t comfortable, and I certainly am not now. I thought you would notice.” He ran his hand through his hair, not caring anymore. He saw tears well up in her eyes and huffed out a sigh. “You’re really sweet and nice, and I wanted tonight to be fun for you, just not like this. I never really wanted to go with anyone tonight, I just wanted to hang out with my friends.”

“Then why didn’t you say so when I asked you out?” Sarah’s voice was small.

“You saw everyone staring, I wasn't about to say no and let you embarrass yourself.” Alex looked up at the ceiling tiles, “I’m sorry, I should have told you afterwards that I didn’t want to come. And I’m sorry for leading you on.”

“No, I’m sorry for coming onto you like that. I saw you were uncomfortable, and I thought it was just because you were nervous or it was your first time or something. I should have asked and been more clear of my intentions for tonight.” Sarah shrugged, “Seems like we both did some shitty things.”

“No kidding.” Alex’s mouth turned up into a small smile, “I don’t want to go back into the dance, but if you want to go outside and just talk or something…”

Sarah swallowed down the frog in her throat, “Yeah, I’d be okay with that.”

They exited the classroom, and walked outside, down past the front doors and the posters. They went out the side doors to a little green with a bench. The second he opened the door, a chill rushed towards them, the night having gotten colder as time went on. 

When they sat down, he handed her his sports coat; his mother would buy him a new one without hesitation. She paused before taking it, looking at him hesitantly, “You sure?”

He waved a hand, “Don’t worry about it.”

The two of them talked for what felt like minutes but what Alex knew was hours. Sarah ended up being really cool, wanting to become an ecologist when she was older, something about the environment going to have to need some serious help later down the line. Alex told her about Sunset Curve and how their dream was to play the Orpheum, and she told him that she would love to see them when they did. They promised to meet up later in life, just for coffee, they joked, when he had a break from touring and she had a break from saving the world.

He saw her later after leaving to find his friends. She was sitting on the steps of the school with a few of her friends, his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. He sent her a small smile and a short wave of his hand.

She did the same.

* * *

**2020**

_I like the feeling you’re giving me,  
Just hold me baby and I’m in ecstasy_

The best part of drumming was the feeling of freedom it gave Alex.

There was something about being able to take out all of his frustrations and make music, a heartbeat, always made him feel better. He was doing something productive with his displeasure. 

And drumming in a show? Magical.

Being the pulse of a band was a lot of work; he had to constantly be focused and in tune with Reggie at all times, but after some practice, it came as natural to him as breathing. He could close his eyes and just let go. Not to mention when he sang harmonies with Reggie behind Julie, something that never got old. Maybe it was the notes themselves, or maybe it was something unique to them, but even when they were Sunset Curve, singing never felt like that.

One of Alex’s favorite songs to do was Finally Free. Not because he had any sort of crazy solos or parts, if he was going by that measure it’d be Stand Tall, but because sitting behind his kit in that song made him feel truly alive. There was something about Luke and Julie’s chemistry and Reggie and Alex’s backing vocals that made him feel like he had a spot. That song showed just how closely knit and how far Julie and the Phantoms have come. 

He wasn’t anyone he wasn’t. He was truly just Alex on the stage. And people loved that. 

The one big difference that he had noticed about Sunset Curve and Julie and the Phantoms was that while he was alive, he always felt like a caricature of himself. He would always be Alex the brooding drummer, something that had happened unintentionally as they shoved their way into the music scene.

With Julie, he was just Alex. He could fumble and laugh it off or nail his solo and hear the crowd cheer. He felt just as much a part of the band as Luke or Julie. He would always feel more alive than he ever did when he really was alive, on that stage with his best friends.

* * *

**1995**

_You knock me off of my feet  
My lonely days are gone_

One of the only downsides of Bobby’s garage was that the heating system was almost always in disrepair. This wasn’t particularly inconvenient until this year, when Luke and Alex almost exclusively spent their nights there. This led to Bobby sneaking out bundles of blankets and sleeping bags, as the mild days gave way to freezing nights.

And although it was freezing today, there wasn’t a shiver in sight.

The boys of Sunset Curve had just finished decorating the garage in silver garland and wreaths, red bows hanging from the beams, and a sprig of mistletoe in front of the double doors. Reggie and Bobby had gone inside to retrieve their presents from the house, and Luke had put up the ladder, leaving Alex a few minutes of peace before all hell broke loose. 

That is until one puppy dog of a boy vaulted himself over the back of the couch he was laying on.

“Luke! If you don’t get off me right now, the halls won’t be the only thing that's decked!” Alex warned, his face smashed into their leather couch’s arm. Luke simply wrapped his arms around Alex’s middle, and hugged him close.

“C’mon, get into the Christmas spirit!” He could hear Luke smile in his words.

“Get off of me,” Alex moved his hand behind Luke’s back before shoving as hard as he could, “For someone so short, you are super heavy.”

Alex could feel Luke’s smirk against his back, “It’s all that muscle.”

Alex groaned, the other boy had worked very hard to get biceps like his and he wouldn’t stop letting the world know it, apparent from his lack of sleeves in the dead of winter

“Like seriously dude, get the hell off of me.” With one last hug, Luke vaulted off of the blonde with a bounce of his heels.

Alex sat up and fixed his hair as he grumbled.

Bobby and Reggie burst into the garage, quickly setting the presents on the small table in the middle of the room before rushing to shut the doors. They stripped off their beanies and heavy coats, plopping in their respective seating positions.

“Merry Christmas, everybody! Happy Hanukkah! ” Reggie beamed from his place in his chair.

Bobby side eyed him, “Not Christmas.”

Alex shook his head, “Not Hanukkah.”

Luke, still bouncing around, pat Reggie on the shoulder, “It’s the 13th. But nice try.”

But Reggie rolled his eyes, “Nah guys, it’s the sentiment. The chill in the air, ol’ Kris Kringle! Like that one movie that Alex watches way too much!”

“Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town is a classic! It’s perfect for any season, and I stand by that!” he guffawed. 

Reggie rolled his eyes, “Nuh uh, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is _so_ much better.”

“Are you kidding me? Reindeer with sticks for legs bully another one until he’s proven to be useful! As if! Don’t get me started on the dentist elf! People who want to become dentists are psychopaths. And an elf as well? Recipe for a murderer.”

Luke nodded, “He does have a point…”

Bobby violently shook his head, “Absolutely not. We are not starting this again. I have survived a year without this damn argument coming up, and it will stay that way.”

“You’re just mad because your favorite Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street, which is arguably the worst movie of all time.” Reggie pressed his lips together.

Bobby threw his hands up in exasperation, “It’s a true family classic!”

“The entire movie is a court case!”

“With holiday joy and feel good music!”

Luke finally set up in an orange bean bag chair to Reggie’s left, “Can we just exchange gifts already?”

Alex twisted a ring around his finger. Every year they would do a Secret Santa within the band, after the disaster of their first Christmas together; Bobby got each of them matching monogrammed beanies, Luke gave them all guitar picks, which Alex reluctantly accepted despite having no use for, Reggie gifted each of them with handmade wreaths made of construction paper cut out handprints, and Alex had completely forgotten. That led him to start hyperventilating, fearing that his best friends might never forgive him. After that, they each would just get another one present.

Reggie shoved his present across the table, a medium sized red bag, toward the blond. “I had you, so if you don’t like it, you can’t say anything. You’ll hurt my feelings. I will cry. Don’t do that to me.” 

He gave Alex a deadpanned look, mimicking Alex’s own common words with surprising accuracy. Bobby gave a snort and held up an “okay” symbol.

Alex pulled the gift into his lap, pulling the tissue paper out of the top to reveal a mass of black fabric. He reached down, tugging it up in front of his face to reveal that it was, in fact, a fanny pack.

Reggie broke his façade, his face breaking into an excited grin. “It’s a fanny pack! For you! Y’know, so you can carry around your own inhaler and EpiPen, without asking one of us.” his grinned turned shy, “Any _maybe_ some snacks, for your bestest friends in the whole entire world.”

Alex laughed, his chest bubbling with joy, “Thank you! This is totally bangin’.” He clipped the pack around his chest, motioning for Luke to toss his inhaler to him from where he had it in his pocket. Alex caught it, opening the pack and slipping it in.

“And yeah, I’ll stock up on some snacks for some people who seem to be bottomless pits.” Alex shot a glance at Luke and Reggie.

Really though, the present was incredibly thoughtful. Alex can’t remember the last time he carried his own inhaler, let alone the EpiPen that he often left at his house. He usually got Luke to, they were always together anyways, but this had brought many real scares to the four of them. Alex smiled softly at Reggie, he was always thinking of them, noticing the little things. He knew that his hand wreaths a few years ago were an honest attempt to cheer them up, back when Sunset Curve hadn’t gotten any gigs, even after canvassing the area. 

They went around, continuing the gift giving: Reggie received a few new pack of bass strings from Luke, Alex gave Bobby a thrifted book on classical guitarists, and Bobby gave Luke a pack of pens and a notebook.

Reggie’s eyes bugged as he let out a yelp, “Oh! I almost forgot!” He reached into his back pocket to pull out four ties of string, rather bracelets. 

Friendship bracelets. 

“My sister taught me how to make them a few nights ago!” They all knew that Reggie would distract his siblings from their parents' fighting using any means necessary, “Turns out, it was super fun and easy! But I made you guys some!”

Reggie handed them out to his friends; white, grey, and baby pink for Alex, light blue, navy, and yellow for Luke, and black, white, and tan for Bobby. He himself had on a red, black, and grey one on his wrist. After Alex had Bobby tie it on his own wrist, he inspected the bracelet. It wasn’t even by any means, and had bumps and ridges from where Reggie tied a knot too tight or too loose, but it was absolutely perfect.

* * *

**2020**

_I’ve never felt so in love before  
Just promise baby, you’ll love me forevermore  
I swear I’m keeping you satisfied  
Cause you’re the one for me_

Alex sang into the microphone, pausing then pointing to Willie, whose eyes crinkled as he laughed. 

The team was at karaoke, a small place filled with all sorts of people from all different backgrounds, all joined together to sing badly into a shitty microphone. The main room was dark, illuminated only by multicolored lights on the stage and lights above the booths, such as where his friends and boyfriend were sitting. Julie and Luke were leaning into each other, holding hands under the table, and Reggie was swaying along, clapping. They figured out some time before that the ghosts could be seen when they were truly happy, such as right now.

He had gone up to the small platform after Reggie’s electric performance, and chose a song he felt like he had known all of his life. He felt the music in his bones and the beat in his soul as the song had started. The song as much his as his own drumsticks.

He took the mic from the stand, not needing to look at the lyrics, and tossed his head back. He had entrusted his black fanny pack to Willie, who had it strapped over his own shoulder, and he was in his signature pink champion hoodie. As he sang, he seemed to transform into the same performer he became while drumming on stage, except now, he was the center of attention. He didn’t care if he screwed up a note here or there, or he ran out of breath from throwing his whole body into it, and it didn’t seem like other people did either.

Those sitting at the tables around him were as into the music as he was, almost as if a wire connected them all, lighting them up with electricity. The energy was unanimous and all encompassing.

He sang to Willie, who blushed as he stalked over to him. The boy who had stolen his heart and was yet to give it back, although Alex would never ask him to. He made him feel as though he was the only one in the room every time he looked at him. Willie was his best friend, who pushed him to loosen up and try living now, with no regrets, who pushed him to be the best version of himself he could be, who showed him that there was nothing wrong with him.

He wasn’t just singing to Willie, but to all of his friends.

To Julie, who was has gone through so much pain, only to come out on top.

To caring Reggie, who always saw the best in everyone, even those who did him wrong. 

To Luke, who always had his head in the clouds, but a family when he came back down to earth. 

To Bobby, who was once his best friend, and who he knew, deep down, only had the best intentions. 

To sweet Sarah, with the dull green eyes, who he later found out had achieved her dream of saving the world. 

He grabbed Willie by his hand, dragging him up to stand with him at the stage. He smiled at the boy before tilting the mic towards him.

_The way you make me feel  
You really turn me on  
You knock me off of my feet  
My lonely days are gone_

He thought he could hear his friends doing terrible Michael Jackson impressions, but all he cared about was those brown eyes in front of him. He owed so much to his ragtag group of friends, and couldn’t imagine a life without them. 

He has always spent time helping people, people who he doesn’t even know, people who mean the world to him, and everyone in between.

And along the way, it seems like they helped him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Omg this took forever for me to sit down and write, mostly bc I'm lowkey stressed rn. If you live in the US, you know what I'm talking about
> 
> But I really did love writing this, I adore Alex's character, and it's much fluffier than Reggie's lol
> 
> I hope I conveyed the message I was going for tho 
> 
> Please please leave feedback, I love knowing my work is appreciated!!
> 
> (please note that I own nothing but the writing itself, all characters and songs are property of their rightful owners . Also Michael Jackson is fucking disgusting, I just adore this song and it's very near and dear to me; separation of the art and artists)


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